Anxiety

I would like to take some time to write about some stuff that has been part of my life for a long time and that has been amplifying for the past year or so. Hopefully, talking and writing about it will make me feel better and since I've been part of this community for a few years, I know I won't be judged about this delicate topic.

So yeah, I've always suffered from anxiety on a daily basis for the better part of my 37 year long life. But in the past year, we've seen a major increase of tasks and workload at my worplace and about 15% of my team wasn't replaced when they retired. It's been difficult for me to deal with that, but I tried. Probably for too long. Also, my four year old son seems to have been stuck in his "Terrible Two"' phase for two years now, which doesn' help when I come back from work and want to relax a bit.

I've been suffering from severe stress, anxiety, distress, headaches, loss of sleep, frustrations, sadness and all that stuff for a long, long time.All that thin balance was shatered in the past month or so. After multiple appointment with my doctor and my psychologist, it's been decided that I should be pulled from work for at least six weeks to help me take a break from work and be able to find tools that will help me see things from a different perspective so I can get back to the job I love and be at the top of my game, physically and mentally.

I'm pretty sure that many people here will understand my position. This community has been fun to be part of and I'm positive that my love for video games will be a part of my recovery. That means that you might see me more often on this forum.

My take on this is that depression, or an occupational burnout in my case, is not a sign of weakness, but a sign that I tried to be strong for too long. Thank you all for taking the time to read me and happy gaming ! :)

I would like to take some time to write about some stuff that has been part of my life for a long time and that has been amplifying for the past year or so. Hopefully, talking and writing about it will make me feel better and since I've been part of this community for a few years, I know I won't be judged about this delicate topic.

So yeah, I've always suffered from anxiety on a daily basis for the better part of my 37 year long life. But in the past year, we've seen a major increase of tasks and workload at my worplace and about 15% of my team wasn't replaced when they retired. It's been difficult for me to deal with that, but I tried. Probably for too long. Also, my four year old son seems to have been stuck in his "Terrible Two"' phase for two years now, which doesn' help when I come back from work and want to relax a bit.

I've been suffering from severe stress, anxiety, distress, headaches, loss of sleep, frustrations, sadness and all that stuff for a long, long time.All that thin balance was shatered in the past month or so. After multiple appointment with my doctor and my psychologist, it's been decided that I should be pulled from work for at least six weeks to help me take a break from work and be able to find tools that will help me see things from a different perspective so I can get back to the job I love and be at the top of my game, physically and mentally.

I'm pretty sure that many people here will understand my position. This community has been fun to be part of and I'm positive that my love for video games will be a part of my recovery. That means that you might see me more often on this forum.

My take on this is that depression, or an occupational burnout in my case, is not a sign of weakness, but a sign that I tried to be strong for too long. Thank you all for taking the time to read me and happy gaming ! :)

Thank you so much for posting! As someone with Aspergers who has anxiety, depression, anger, and chronic fatigue, it is VERY inspiring to see someone who views their case as not one that victimizes them, but one that can empower them! You are in my thoughts and prayers and I am rooting for you as a fellow gamer! Ah, and good luck with your son too!

Thank you so much for posting! As someone with Aspergers who has anxiety, depression, anger, and chronic fatigue, it is VERY inspiring to see someone who views their case as not one that victimizes them, but one that can empower them! You are in my thoughts and prayers and I am rooting for you as a fellow gamer! Ah, and good luck with your son too!

Thanks for the kind words ! ;)

Thanks for sharing, and I'm glad to see that you're consulting with professionals who can help out. We're about the same age and while I haven't had much anxiety, my 'thing' has been depression since I was a kid. The biggest thing that's helped me has been counselling, as it provided me with tools and methods to learn how to live with depression and not let it take over my life.

I hope that anyone in the same boat will seek help from people who know what they're talking about. It's amazing how beneficial it can be to have someone else work through things with you. One of the biggest surprises for me was finding out that I wasn't so different to a lot of other people, and there are practical ways to help yourself out.

It's great to hear that you're able to remove yourself from your bad work situation, and spend time with your family and looking after yourself. I hope it's a beneficial period of rest for you!

I would like to take some time to write about some stuff that has been part of my life for a long time and that has been amplifying for the past year or so. Hopefully, talking and writing about it will make me feel better and since I've been part of this community for a few years, I know I won't be judged about this delicate topic.

So yeah, I've always suffered from anxiety on a daily basis for the better part of my 37 year long life. But in the past year, we've seen a major increase of tasks and workload at my worplace and about 15% of my team wasn't replaced when they retired. It's been difficult for me to deal with that, but I tried. Probably for too long. Also, my four year old son seems to have been stuck in his "Terrible Two"' phase for two years now, which doesn' help when I come back from work and want to relax a bit.

I've been suffering from severe stress, anxiety, distress, headaches, loss of sleep, frustrations, sadness and all that stuff for a long, long time.All that thin balance was shatered in the past month or so. After multiple appointment with my doctor and my psychologist, it's been decided that I should be pulled from work for at least six weeks to help me take a break from work and be able to find tools that will help me see things from a different perspective so I can get back to the job I love and be at the top of my game, physically and mentally.

I'm pretty sure that many people here will understand my position. This community has been fun to be part of and I'm positive that my love for video games will be a part of my recovery. That means that you might see me more often on this forum.

My take on this is that depression, or an occupational burnout in my case, is not a sign of weakness, but a sign that I tried to be strong for too long. Thank you all for taking the time to read me and happy gaming ! :)

It’s so important to take time out and take stock when things start to get overwhelming like that, and it’s not in any way a sign of weakness to realise that and to get whatever help you need to do so. Thanks for sharing - I do hope you get through it all okay and come out stronger on the other side.

I’ve suffered with depression on and off from my mid-teens and throughout my adult life, and it’s mostly been manageable, though has caused me problems with study, work and relationships. Unfortunately in the past few years it’s become quite chronic.

Video games are a diversion for me, a way to block out my woes and feel in control... though I do worry that I have an addiction, that games sometimes cause me stress and anxiety, and that this might contribute to my depression. I’m really not sure that I should be playing Bloodborne right now!

Tiamut, I recently read about fasting (drinking only distilled water) and the benefits it had had on people for their anxiety. There's a book by Herbert Shelton that you might enjoy...

It’s so important to take time out and take stock when things start to get overwhelming like that, and it’s not in any way a sign of weakness to realise that and to get whatever help you need to do so. Thanks for sharing - I do hope you get through it all okay and come out stronger on the other side.

I’ve suffered with depression on and off from my mid-teens and throughout my adult life, and it’s mostly been manageable, though has caused me problems with study, work and relationships. Unfortunately in the past few years it’s become quite chronic.

Video games are a diversion for me, a way to block out my woes and feel in control... though I do worry that I have an addiction, that games sometimes cause me stress and anxiety, and that this might contribute to my depression. I’m really not sure that I should be playing Bloodborne right now!

Thanks for sharing your story. I can imagine what you must be going through. In Canada, we can Be happy to have all the social services we have.

For me, it started with my employer's help program, which is confidential. When they saw how work affected my help, they offered to pay for my psychologist, they gave me 1000$ for that purpose. The way they see this is that they're better off helping their employees get better by seeing professionals rather than losing them for months which in turn will affect production and might have a negative impact on the coworkers.

And we have a pretty good public health system, so it only took a few days to be able to see my doctor. She's been following me for years so she knew my file well and was able to sign me a paper that I could take to work. Also, I have great insurance at work, so I'll still get 85% if my salary while I'm off work.

Good luck to you as well, I hope you find the help you need shortly. Have a great day ! :D

To help me start my six week recovery, I've decided to take some vacation away from the city and get some fresh air. This is me this morning, with a coffee and my New 2DS XL, and the view !

I'be been so stressed and in distressed in the past year, that when I was finally able to sit down and relax and look at the horizon like that, I couldn't hold my tears. It felt good to let it out, finally !

Thanks for sharing your story. I can imagine what you must be going through. In Canada, we can Be happy to have all the social services we have.

For me, it started with my employer's help program, which is confidential. When they saw how work affected my help, they offered to pay for my psychologist, they gave me 1000$ for that purpose. The way they see this is that they're better off helping their employees get better by seeing professionals rather than losing them for months which in turn will affect production and might have a negative impact on the coworkers.

And we have a pretty good public health system, so it only took a few days to be able to see my doctor. She's been following me for years so she knew my file well and was able to sign me a paper that I could take to work. Also, I have great insurance at work, so I'll still get 85% if my salary while I'm off work.

Good luck to you as well, I hope you find the help you need shortly. Have a great day ! :D

Thanks tiamat911... It looks like you've got off to a great start with a view like that, and having the time and space to let all your emotions out and not worry about immediate stuff can be really cathartic. Stay positive, my friend!

Don't give up ! We believe in you ! ;)

Ha! Yes! At times like these I always turn to LaBeouf... not because it's empowering, but because it's ridiculously funny...

While away on vacation, I did some exploration and ended up taking some nice landscape pictures. I usually take 2-4 days vacation in this area every year in September or October. It's only an hour and a half from my home which is nice. This place is very calming for me.

While away on vacation, I did some exploration and ended up taking some nice landscape pictures. I usually take 2-4 days vacation in this area every year in September or October. It's only an hour and a half from my home which is nice. This place is very calming for me.

Lovely. It actually looks very similar to where my parents live.

Tiamat911 an option that might be worth exploring that has really helped me personally is Medical Marijuana. While being a controversial topic for most, Canada is probably the leading country when it comes to being proactive with their laws. Obviously if you have or have not tried going down this road, I would definitely consult a doctor or two beforehand. Some doctors I have personally experienced still have very closed minds when it comes to drugs, which I find kind of appalling since here in the US in some states it is harder for me to get Marijuana, then it is for me to get prescribed some kind of Opioid. It's honestly so backwards due to corporate greed and big pharma pushing their agenda, but lets stay off of politics.

I currently live in a state where it is legally only medically wise, but the wide array of products is astonishing. Especially since you say you have a kid, you probably don't want to be seen smoking a "doobie" in front of the little guy haha. On the flip side you also have CBD which is the non-psychoactive side of Marijuana, also considered by a lot of people I know personally to be life changing since they have started taking it. Dispensaries, at least the ones I have visited, are very helpful and mindful of your needs as a customer. They aren't just people behind a counter trying to sell you some drugs, they are there to really find what works for you, and help you with whatever you are dealing with.

Personally I have been dealing with extreme general anxiety since I was very young, it really started to ramp up a few years ago to the point where some days I would wake up in the morning having an all out panic attack, and I couldnt go to work for a few days. Financially I don't have a job that covers for me unfortunately, so I am kind of on my own in that aspect. I don't have the means to really pay to go see doctors, especially since here in the US not only is insurance ridiculous, but it also doesn't pay for much. So I really just had to open up to my partner, she really helped me get through what I was going through, but she would have had no idea if I didn't open up and explain my state of mind.

What I really found that helps me is finding what triggers your anxiety. When you find out what things trigger your anxiety, take some time and deeply think about these topics logically. For me a major trigger has always been health, and general wellness. I would sometimes worry if I had a slight pain one day, that I had cancer or something like I was gonna have a stroke, and I was gonna die. I would just downward spiral out of control and lead myself mentally to a really dark place. But I found that when I am in a good state of mind, I think of what triggers my anxiety, and I just try to have a conversation with myself assuring that the likelihood of me dying right now is so slim at my young age.

Some would maybe consider it meditation, and maybe it is. But it really has helped me get to probably the best state of mind I have ever been in. For the last year I have not had any panic attacks, and very rarely do I get extreme anxiety. Sometimes I get small amounts, but in reality everyone will always have some form of anxiety its only natural. Now back to how marijuana helps me personally. I don't wake up smoke all day, go to work stoned, and make trips to white castle. It is more of something that is used on occasion, maybe I have a long 12 hour shift at work, and I come home stressed and on edge. Then I might smoke/vape a little bit, and it just helps me calm down and brings back my rational thought process. There are a lot of options other than smoking as well, vaping extracts, edibles, drinks, etc.

Now I know their are some underaged people on this forum most likely. I strongly do not condone younger kids, or people obtaining marijuana where it is not legal. Especially young kids, since studies have not be heavily done on the affects THC has on a young developing brain. I only brought this topic up due to Tiamat911 living in Canada where marijuana is legal. I love this forum and hopefully don't get kicked off due to bringing this topic up.

Tiamat911 an option that might be worth exploring that has really helped me personally is Medical Marijuana. While being a controversial topic for most, Canada is probably the leading country when it comes to being proactive with their laws. Obviously if you have or have not tried going down this road, I would definitely consult a doctor or two beforehand. Some doctors I have personally experienced still have very closed minds when it comes to drugs, which I find kind of appalling since here in the US in some states it is harder for me to get Marijuana, then it is for me to get prescribed some kind of Opioid. It's honestly so backwards due to corporate greed and big pharma pushing their agenda, but lets stay off of politics.

I currently live in a state where it is legally only medically wise, but the wide array of products is astonishing. Especially since you say you have a kid, you probably don't want to be seen smoking a "doobie" in front of the little guy haha. On the flip side you also have CBD which is the non-psychoactive side of Marijuana, also considered by a lot of people I know personally to be life changing since they have started taking it. Dispensaries, at least the ones I have visited, are very helpful and mindful of your needs as a customer. They aren't just people behind a counter trying to sell you some drugs, they are there to really find what works for you, and help you with whatever you are dealing with.

Personally I have been dealing with extreme general anxiety since I was very young, it really started to ramp up a few years ago to the point where some days I would wake up in the morning having an all out panic attack, and I couldnt go to work for a few days. Financially I don't have a job that covers for me unfortunately, so I am kind of on my own in that aspect. I don't have the means to really pay to go see doctors, especially since here in the US not only is insurance ridiculous, but it also doesn't pay for much. So I really just had to open up to my partner, she really helped me get through what I was going through, but she would have had no idea if I didn't open up and explain my state of mind.

What I really found that helps me is finding what triggers your anxiety. When you find out what things trigger your anxiety, take some time and deeply think about these topics logically. For me a major trigger has always been health, and general wellness. I would sometimes worry if I had a slight pain one day, that I had cancer or something like I was gonna have a stroke, and I was gonna die. I would just downward spiral out of control and lead myself mentally to a really dark place. But I found that when I am in a good state of mind, I think of what triggers my anxiety, and I just try to have a conversation with myself assuring that the likelihood of me dying right now is so slim at my young age.

Some would maybe consider it meditation, and maybe it is. But it really has helped me get to probably the best state of mind I have ever been in. For the last year I have not had any panic attacks, and very rarely do I get extreme anxiety. Sometimes I get small amounts, but in reality everyone will always have some form of anxiety its only natural. Now back to how marijuana helps me personally. I don't wake up smoke all day, go to work stoned, and make trips to white castle. It is more of something that is used on occasion, maybe I have a long 12 hour shift at work, and I come home stressed and on edge. Then I might smoke/vape a little bit, and it just helps me calm down and brings back my rational thought process. There are a lot of options other than smoking as well, vaping extracts, edibles, drinks, etc.

Now I know their are some underaged people on this forum most likely. I strongly do not condone younger kids, or people obtaining marijuana where it is not legal. Especially young kids, since studies have not be heavily done on the affects THC has on a young developing brain. I only brought this topic up due to Tiamat911 living in Canada where marijuana is legal. I love this forum and hopefully don't get kicked off due to bringing this topic up.

Cannabis will be "fully" legal next month in Canada, and in all the provinces. In Quebec where I live, it's the gouvernement alcool stores (SAQ) that was mandated to created a subsidiary for cannabis (SQDC). Some stores are preparing to open on October 17th with roughly 150 different products, trained employees, health information and all that stuff. No incitation or promotion of the drug will be done, only objective information to the customers.

It will be a very serious thing, not some dude going : "Hey man, want some weed, man ?". Hehehe ! It is controlled and managed by the gouvernement after all. The stores will be nice too !

https://infocannabis.saq.com/devoilement-du-concept-des-succursales/

On a side note, although your suggestion is not a bad idea, the fact that I've suffered from severe asthma since I've been three years old, inhaling anything but good old regular air is a bad idea for me.

Thanks again for taking the time to write !

Tiamat911 an option that might be worth exploring that has really helped me personally is Medical Marijuana. While being a controversial topic for most, Canada is probably the leading country when it comes to being proactive with their laws. Obviously if you have or have not tried going down this road, I would definitely consult a doctor or two beforehand. Some doctors I have personally experienced still have very closed minds when it comes to drugs, which I find kind of appalling since here in the US in some states it is harder for me to get Marijuana, then it is for me to get prescribed some kind of Opioid. It's honestly so backwards due to corporate greed and big pharma pushing their agenda, but lets stay off of politics.

I currently live in a state where it is legally only medically wise, but the wide array of products is astonishing. Especially since you say you have a kid, you probably don't want to be seen smoking a "doobie" in front of the little guy haha. On the flip side you also have CBD which is the non-psychoactive side of Marijuana, also considered by a lot of people I know personally to be life changing since they have started taking it. Dispensaries, at least the ones I have visited, are very helpful and mindful of your needs as a customer. They aren't just people behind a counter trying to sell you some drugs, they are there to really find what works for you, and help you with whatever you are dealing with.

Personally I have been dealing with extreme general anxiety since I was very young, it really started to ramp up a few years ago to the point where some days I would wake up in the morning having an all out panic attack, and I couldnt go to work for a few days. Financially I don't have a job that covers for me unfortunately, so I am kind of on my own in that aspect. I don't have the means to really pay to go see doctors, especially since here in the US not only is insurance ridiculous, but it also doesn't pay for much. So I really just had to open up to my partner, she really helped me get through what I was going through, but she would have had no idea if I didn't open up and explain my state of mind.

What I really found that helps me is finding what triggers your anxiety. When you find out what things trigger your anxiety, take some time and deeply think about these topics logically. For me a major trigger has always been health, and general wellness. I would sometimes worry if I had a slight pain one day, that I had cancer or something like I was gonna have a stroke, and I was gonna die. I would just downward spiral out of control and lead myself mentally to a really dark place. But I found that when I am in a good state of mind, I think of what triggers my anxiety, and I just try to have a conversation with myself assuring that the likelihood of me dying right now is so slim at my young age.

Some would maybe consider it meditation, and maybe it is. But it really has helped me get to probably the best state of mind I have ever been in. For the last year I have not had any panic attacks, and very rarely do I get extreme anxiety. Sometimes I get small amounts, but in reality everyone will always have some form of anxiety its only natural. Now back to how marijuana helps me personally. I don't wake up smoke all day, go to work stoned, and make trips to white castle. It is more of something that is used on occasion, maybe I have a long 12 hour shift at work, and I come home stressed and on edge. Then I might smoke/vape a little bit, and it just helps me calm down and brings back my rational thought process. There are a lot of options other than smoking as well, vaping extracts, edibles, drinks, etc.

Now I know their are some underaged people on this forum most likely. I strongly do not condone younger kids, or people obtaining marijuana where it is not legal. Especially young kids, since studies have not be heavily done on the affects THC has on a young developing brain. I only brought this topic up due to Tiamat911 living in Canada where marijuana is legal. I love this forum and hopefully don't get kicked off due to bringing this topic up.

I can’t see any reason why you should be kicked off the forum... you have shared your experiences in a responsible manner, have given reasonable and rational viewpoints that seem well-informed, and even provided a disclaimer as such.

I think it’s good to be as informed as you can be. I don’t think drug usage should be taken lightly, whether it is legal or otherwise, be it prescribed pharmaceutical drugs or recreational stuff for fun, relaxation or self-medication purposes. But that’s not to say that the prohibitive scaremongering by some people about drug usage should be taken as gospel... especially not those people who happily engage in consuming legal drugs like alcohol, which can be very destructive too. It’s probably best to avoid highly addictive and unarguably destructive stuff like meth, heroin and crack though!

Taimat911, I can totally empathise with you.

Try to focus on the people around you that you love as they are most important to you and try to enjoy your work, even if that means its time for a change (after all we spend a third of our lives doing it, we may as well enjoy it). Try not to bury your problems in gaming, take the time to deal with them and listen to you thoughts, no matter if you think you sound like a psychopath. My sob story is below if you have the time.

I've been quite a nervous person for most I my life, and consequently that brings anxiety along for the ride. I thought that as I moved into my 20's, I finally had a grasp on it. Whilst it was there in the background for a lot of the time, I knew how to handle it.

When I reached my 30's it came back with a vengeance. A few months after the birth of my first child I could feel it beginning to take hold of me. While its a perfectly normal situation to go through (its a terrifying experience!), I could feel the depression that came along with it so heavily. I felt as though my time had been stolen from me. I was desperately unhappy with everything as there seemed so little joy to be had and I had no time for my escapes (playing video games, seeing friends, etc...) I became numb to everything around me and started over eating, drinking more and taking strong painkillers to sedate myself.

I went to the doctors to seek help and was referred for counselling and immediately given medication. I took the tablets and was fortunate enough to get an appointment for counselling within a month (dog bless the NHS). The tablets did nothing for me, they made me even number so I stopped them. The counselling helped, it taught me that I wasn't tackling my problems but creating new ones. I couldn't use my video games to escape which created another problem, so I sank lower. I focused on what made me sad, mainly my job, and changed it. I started running to get back into shape and to have some valuable thinking time to clear my mind. I stopped taking the painkillers and quit drinking for 6 months. It helped a lot.

Then my wife got pregnant again. I felt it all coming back so I ran harder and longer, I tried to do as much as I possibly could before the baby came and stole all the time that I'd clawed back over the previous 2 years. In the process I ignored my thoughts again and it began to spiral. What helped before was now the mask for my problems. I lost all enthusiasm, especially for work, and became despondent. Baby came and it was the most gruelling experience I've been through (nerf life, I know!). I returned to work and was let go a few weeks later, I was told I didn't look happy and that it was for the best. They paid me a months notice and waved me out the door. Broken with a wife on maternity leave, 2 children (2 and a half and 7 weeks) and a mortgage.

I learnt that day that it wasn't all about me, so I focused on what was important to my family and I began to rebuild. I found an ace new job that I love after a very anxious 5 weeks, and I got to spend a great summer with my family and help my struggling wife with 2 children. 3 months later and I'm the happiest I've been in a long while. I know that the black dog will come for me again but my arsenal is so much better now and I hope to be able to hold it back in my darkest hours. I still game, it just takes me longer to clear the dreaded back log.

Sorry for the ramblings and poor grammar. Just know that you are not alone.

I'd like to do a little follow up about this thread. I've now been off work for seven weeks and my doctor wants me to rest for at least another three weeks. Then we will see if we should extend or not.

So far, I can say that a lot of stress and anxiety is gone. I mean, I have general anxiety so there will always be a bit of it, but I'm learning how to deal with it. It's not easy. The brain is wired a certain way and to reprogram it is not an easy task. But I have tools, tricks and tips on how to reduce the symptoms.

As for the fact that I was also completely "burned" and tired, this is the part where I need to work on. I'm still very tired all the time. It's not something that easy to fix. Even if I sleep more. My doctor told me that it's due to all that I had to go through this past year. I tried to push too hard on myself instead of stoping from time to time and to give myself a break. Only time can help me now. With the stress and anxiety mostly out of the way, it's easier to rest and relax and help my body and mind recover.

We'll see where this goes. I kinda miss work and coworkers now. And I've always loved my job. And it's hard on the budget. As much as I'd like to go back to work, I understand that I need to take the time to fully recover if I want to go back fully energized, otherwise, this whole 10 weeks off work will be for nothing.

Thanks again for taking the time to read all this. Writing about it does help to make me feel better. See ya !

Now back to Ocarina of Time... ;)

It sounds like you have a good doctor and understanding work environment. I hope you're able to take all the time you need in order to center yourself and get to a better place. You may want to consider making some adjustments to your work situation, because if you're going back to exactly the same demanding and understaffed environment you might quickly find yourself back here.

I've decided to post a small update on my story. I've been away from work for 14 weeks now. I feel much better. I saw my doctor this morning and I'll go back back to work on January 3rd (after a 16 weeks break). I'll go back gradually, only working a few days a week, then I'll be working full time again on February 4th. I kinda got used to be at home and not have any schedule at all. I wished it could go on forever, but that's obviously not possible. I feel better and I have no reason to stay at home more than that. I'm still a bit tired, but I guess this is common being a parent with a 4 and a half year old son running around.

Gaming did help me get better (that and reading, sleeping, seeing a psychologist and so on). I thought I'd play much more than I did before. I did play more, but in my mind, I was sure I'd spend a lot more time that what happened (went from an average of 3-4 hours per week to 9-10 hours per week). I also kept busy doind some light work on the house and stuff like that.

If any of you feel overwelmed by life and/or work, I strongly advise to seek help and professional ressources. I waited too long to do so and my problem only grew bigger.

Thanks again for all the support !

I've decided to post a small update on my story. I've been away from work for 14 weeks now. I feel much better. I saw my doctor this morning and I'll go back back to work on January 3rd (after a 16 weeks break). I'll go back gradually, only working a few days a week, then I'll be working full time again on February 4th. I kinda got used to be at home and not have any schedule at all. I wished it could go on forever, but that's obviously not possible. I feel better and I have no reason to stay at home more than that. I'm still a bit tired, but I guess this is common being a parent with a 4 and a half year old son running around.

Gaming did help me get better (that and reading, sleeping, seeing a psychologist and so on). I thought I'd play much more than I did before. I did play more, but in my mind, I was sure I'd spend a lot more time that what happened (went from an average of 3-4 hours per week to 9-10 hours per week). I also kept busy doind some light work on the house and stuff like that.

If any of you feel overwelmed by life and/or work, I strongly advise to seek help and professional ressources. I waited too long to do so and my problem only grew bigger.

Thanks again for all the support !

glad to hear you're in a better place =)
hope the return to work goes well - sounds like you have a good plan of easing back into it!

I've decided to post a small update on my story. I've been away from work for 14 weeks now. I feel much better. I saw my doctor this morning and I'll go back back to work on January 3rd (after a 16 weeks break). I'll go back gradually, only working a few days a week, then I'll be working full time again on February 4th. I kinda got used to be at home and not have any schedule at all. I wished it could go on forever, but that's obviously not possible. I feel better and I have no reason to stay at home more than that. I'm still a bit tired, but I guess this is common being a parent with a 4 and a half year old son running around.

Gaming did help me get better (that and reading, sleeping, seeing a psychologist and so on). I thought I'd play much more than I did before. I did play more, but in my mind, I was sure I'd spend a lot more time that what happened (went from an average of 3-4 hours per week to 9-10 hours per week). I also kept busy doind some light work on the house and stuff like that.

If any of you feel overwelmed by life and/or work, I strongly advise to seek help and professional ressources. I waited too long to do so and my problem only grew bigger.

Thanks again for all the support !

I'm glad you are feeling better!!! I'll be coming back to this post to see how you get back to work and if everything goes ok, since I'm sure that will be a bit tough after weeks of rest.

I've decided to post a small update on my story. I've been away from work for 14 weeks now. I feel much better. I saw my doctor this morning and I'll go back back to work on January 3rd (after a 16 weeks break). I'll go back gradually, only working a few days a week, then I'll be working full time again on February 4th. I kinda got used to be at home and not have any schedule at all. I wished it could go on forever, but that's obviously not possible. I feel better and I have no reason to stay at home more than that. I'm still a bit tired, but I guess this is common being a parent with a 4 and a half year old son running around.

Gaming did help me get better (that and reading, sleeping, seeing a psychologist and so on). I thought I'd play much more than I did before. I did play more, but in my mind, I was sure I'd spend a lot more time that what happened (went from an average of 3-4 hours per week to 9-10 hours per week). I also kept busy doind some light work on the house and stuff like that.

If any of you feel overwelmed by life and/or work, I strongly advise to seek help and professional ressources. I waited too long to do so and my problem only grew bigger.

Thanks again for all the support !

Thank you so much for this post! It always pains me when people are struggling and refuse to get professional help. And gaming is definitely my escape as well, haha!

That's a great post ! I got emotional just knowing that the few messages we exchanged helped you. It's a great feeling to know I can help others with my experience and what I've recently gone through.

And yeah, I feel the same about all the stuff you wrote. It's hard to get help. But once you do, you feel so much better. Everything happened very quickly for me too. Within a month of me finally getting the will to get help, I had talked about it to my doctor, I went to see a psychologist 2 or 3 times and talked about it to my girlfriend, mom and a coworker I trust. Then everything made me feel like I was in control and that things would get better. And yes, the burden and the weight do go away and it gives you more energy and confidence to continue.

Everybody is different and require a different "journey". In my case it was a burnout, not depression. But according to the ressources that helped me, it could have led to depression eventually if I'd just keep on going for a longer period of time. And it could have been a serious one too. For me, it was time off work and taking it easy, mostly. I also continued with my psychologist. I saw her a total of 10 times. It helped a lot. Sometimes, I guess that we do need someone to help us clean up what's inside of our head as we can't do it by ourselves. It can be that we don't have the energy, or the know-how... or we simply don't know where to start. These guys are professionals and it's their job to help us.

After all this, I'm actually happy and excited to go back to work in two weeks. 16 weeks of break feels enough for me. I know it's an ongoing process and it will take some more time to get adjusted to my situation once I do go back to work, but I feel prepared and confident. I expect a few breakdowns here and there, but I understand that it's ok. I have tooled myself better this time and I know what to do if I ever feel overwhelmed again. Also, I talked to my bosses two days ago and they understand what I went through. They know that it will take some weeks or months for me to get back to my previous level of very high productivity (which didn't help actually) and they have offered help and kind words.

I'm happy that you've decided to go public about this. Not that you had to, but I'm happy that you've decided to do so. I'm sure it took some stress off of your mind.

Edit: Also, being supported here, even by "strangers", it just feels great. I mean, knowing that some people seem to genuinely care, it helped me realise that I had nothing to hide and that most people understand because they were in the same situation once, or they know someone who was going through the same thing.

Going back to work tomorrow after being at home for 112 days to rest and get better. I don't really feel like it but I guess that's normal after such a long break. We'll see how it goes !